Thursday, August 27, 2020

Who We Choose




 who we choose


But, to be fair, it also spelled promise

And newness in the back yard of our life

As if something callow yet tenacious

Sauntered in green alleys and grew rife.

                                                          Seamus Heaney

                                                          Mint

the puppy, wanting the nuzzle

of love coming from

the huffed and whiskered

muzzle of his mother, comes

again and again to 

the drip of milk his siblings

kick and scratch and lift

him from.  the one festering,

level with his jaw and along

his neck, puncture wound

soon soothed, soon, soon soothed

after the true air is out

of the womb new and kept

free of the hush-dug tombs

of such mongrels, the boy 

comes empty but fore

-front coverage: the rusty mud

from the puddles coming up

like geysers after his parting

tires, the rush to the runt

and the cuddle and hug 

to the stew of his new love

his cooling chest-sweat 

and, hunkering his beauty

in, wool.

Sunday, August 23, 2020

slack tide




the copper's bronzed atop the tips of the white 

pine grove again.  and behind a cloud of rippled

batting, that if you were to open the rubbed

and rubbed seams in the family heirlooms

you'd see into the gray waves such stuff

as old squares have kept sewn and mem-

orable and ever moving like flesh and bones

in all it's stages of sleep: needing warm,

needing to be free of warm, needing 

the between the sheets evening of ligatures

at ease at being Eve or Adam or one

or two bums who've come to take in wrinkles

or mussels in some saltwater cove and only

at low water every wig-rigged rock a 

bladderwrack patch of flattened capacity

and then puffed up against the pull and slack.

when the sky at last penetrates the attic

window and wakes  him there, it's no  

mystery that the first thing he touches

is the thinning corduroy of his coat

she'd sewn and taken in and let out 

like a stray who has her reasons for leaving

and now it's beneath his knee

at night sometimes when the wind

isn't up enough from the river to give

relief.  she'd made every piece breathable

and believable, I mean, think of it:

you can read a quilt the same way

you read a book the same way

you read a recipe the same way

you read the land before you start

putting your time in.  which, like an empty

bed, like a cold pipe come morning,

are fields left fallow in winter

to slump under their own self--she'd

taken all that into her lap

where eventually it made him

infant to boy to man

sleep the sleep any day's great 

reckoning can afford, or sleep

the sleep a sea sleeps beneath

the sheathing and unsheathing

shade/blades of boat and bark

bottoms, or of clouds skirting

the surface so silently they move

nothing or everything, you choose:

the pinch, thumb and finger, with

a needle, the grip, fist over fist, 

of a hoe handle and work-

thinning blade or a brier wild

in its own desire to flower

and root and tangle boots and make

to come loose the hemmed threads

of rovers day to day to day on their way

to the grave.


Thursday, August 20, 2020

Christina: What It Means

moss heart


Christina: What it Means

or what does it mean, staying

until the end or a month 

to the end because what if 

they take me

alive from here

and not if they take me dead

what if it's like my last

thing to know I'm losing,

something I've known about

all my crawling life: the par

-ticular lineament 

of every floorboard and knot

in the them and how on

especially tired days

when he'd be painting

in one of the attic

rooms I'd settle

my hip at a half

-way point and make myself

a story how if I could

write them they'd change

day to day depending

on the light or lack

and what all's been put up

with or taken

down, hands or feet or these

days and years the rug beneath

and the heat we meet with, me

and this hip/in/knit and friction.

Consider this: fingers

sifting through each strip of ripped

denim and other salvage then tucked up

in the warp like Al dancing out

of the whole tub of rope

on the boat before he lets it

go and knowing those

lobster traps will set on bottom

and just wait it out and never

know when he'll be back or that

he brought his boat in forever

for me and they'll never

not ever see him again

or the weir net he knits and knots

all winter the way I knit and knot

all these strips of cut up coats 

and all what are come to rags

and we make it

the two of us in this house

all these years with little

or nothing to go on but what's under

us and Jesus they'll come in later

pinched and coughing and plugging

their noses and take

every little take and maybe 

burn the rest: Mama's dress Daddy's

wool vest that by some magic

I'd made into a sleigh and pulled

myself through

every room I could

knot by knot board foot by board

foot and after all

this time

beside any replica you care

to find and believe it once was

mine there'd be

between certain pine boards

and me

Andy stepping

never in a goddamn hurry

to get me, and yet tender

to his dead Helen

back to where I was

before who? Paris? and he'd come

and brush from my cheek

the dust and cinder and (tucked

in the side of my lips)

a strand of needing a wash hair.

Sunday, July 12, 2020

9:17 a.m. southbound




9:17 a.m.

southbound

 

 

up

I imagine making                              the bed

                                                up

is like making                                     my mind

 

                not for                                                   

               

good

                                but

                                                                for the time

being needing

                                to tighten the night

                                                bolt

                                                up

                                                                right

 

f              l               a              t                              a              s              s

 

nearly done in

 

like a hobo I won’t ever know                                     but somehow I can

see beneath me in a not dream                                 up on the lingo up top

on the roof of the train maybe                                   I’m that hobo maybe I’ve

become that one hobo going hell                                              bent for leather

 

                                                                who/what stalled

 

                                                                                on

 

                                                                                tracks

                                                                                h

                                                                           me

 

                                                                                southbound

                                                                                9:15

                                                                                engine

                                                                                then

 

                                                                                car folding into

                                                                                car folding into car

                                                                               

 

and from that top I watch                                             and watch and roll and roll and watch:  

                :               :

 

let me say right

 

                                                here                      right                       now

 

this top

is lala land off

and I’m not

about to lose

any body

in the oncomingshitshow

but listen

did you know

Wyeth was painting

Alvaro

 

when he heard

his father

was crushed

by a train

coming down

on him and his

grandson

 

and going

home from

Maine

to

Pennsylvania

 

going home

o

i

n

g

                to the post          g

                                                o

                                                i

                                                n

                                                g

 

to pick up the house keeper

 

                               

                               

 

I imagine

                                                                                                can’t you?

                                                                                the length and depth

                                                                                the reverberating reach

                                                                                of the SCREECH given the speed

 

 

 

                                                                                of sound              “depending on the temperature

                                                                                                                of the air through which it

                                                                                                                moves---at sea level—

                                                                                                                assuming an air temperature of 59

                                                                                                                at Fahrenheit

                                                                                                                                                761.2                    

 

hurls ahead of the conductor

and then back again into his face

 

                           s

                                  c

s     c     r     e     e     c     h

       e

hsarc/crash

 

instantly.

they say

he died

instantly.

his boy/grand

boy died

instantly.

maybe.

maybe.

to me, in-

stantly is

just that

 

in some-

thing while

that thing

is happening

like parenthesis:

(instant)

 

the distance in time and feet and inches: the taking the trip up

the stairs to the bedroom, the pulling down the first time in weeks

clean sheets

and climbing in

between making

up           as if you

could

your mind           to sleep.

 

 

 


Saturday, July 4, 2020

How to crochet a bird



How to crochet

a bird:

 

sit

 

                well

 

                                into the evening

 

draw it along

                your lap

                only

 

the length of it

 

to keep

everything

                                                in a straight and untangled line

 

                loop it through

                the fingers

                you choose

                will be

                the                                                                         most

                                                                use

 

                                and then

                                loop it

                                and then

                                begin

 

 

to make it

into

                                a              c

                                             chain

                                             a

                                               i

                                             n

 

and count. 

It counts

if you count

it counts

if you loose count

 

it counts

if the spool

spools

                                out                                         through                                to

 

                                                the next

                                                room                                     bumping

                                                                                                u

                                                                                                m

                                                                                                ping

 

                                against

                the threshold and coming to

                                a rest

                                next to the still

                                immature

                                cat who even

                                with all her practice                       

                                                still

                                                can’t kill

                                                a bird

                                                                with stealth

 

                                and still

                                                bats

                                                and bashes

 

                                                who’s panicked after licking the sticking

                                                pinfeathers

                                                and inhaling tiny bones

 

                                                                who goes through

                                                                her world and your world

                                                                                scattering

 

robins

and wrens

 

                and occasional blackbirds

                                and rarer still

                                favorites: bluebirds who flew

 

once they knew there’s be a cat.

 

Limp to retrieve that lost spool

 

and heave back over to that chair

and pick up where you left off:

 

 

                                                                that rub on the skull

                                                                                soon enough

                                                                falling into your lap

                                                                as from

                                                                                (at last)

                                                                a nest

 

                                                                                and given to

                                                                the wind in that attic window

 

                                                                                                before its stuffed

                                                                                                                years from now

                                                                                                                into the missing pane.

                               

                                                               

 


Friday, July 3, 2020

Guest Mug



That late in the day
and the print of the lip
is wearing up, ridges

where words sometimes
light like birds
or sometimes teeter,

quarried rocks
whose ultimate fate is to be
propped over

someones head like
a bedboard.  I'm after
looking for

that moment of day
when the morning's worn
off or through

and the daub of solid soft
rolled up going
dressed to the world

and is left forgotten
somewhere: coffee
cup I'm talking 

here, the one that's stood up
to her losing
her grib and flipping

rim over rim to come
to a stop somewhat tauntingly
just out of easy

reach and scorning
discreet the pink
print she'll thumb

and rub until
some comes clean
and some gets under

the glaze and privately
when she's turned
to other things 

a man will put his mouth
there and close
his eyes against the steam

and let all that's hot
and all that's not
be swallowed

and some 
when she turns back 
to look

glistens and he lets it
on his lip
until in time 

it dries there
or is taken up
by his tongue

like a retrieved
and unspoken
and unnessary word.

After Flock of Crows



Flock of Crows (1953) 
Drybrush
study for Snow Flurries


Sometimes they're the only thing that holds it all
down to keep it
from going off on its own 
into the deep deep of the esophageal
furnace of the firmament.  Or maybe, 
because there'll always be crows, 

the something that's pinning it
will be sitting there listening to it all
go off at the close
of whatever it is that's closing.  With
the promise of it

coming back in the next ten months 
or less depending on the winter
and all you have to do is last
it out, through fall, through
December and on

into the middle of May 
and all along  you'll know it 
coming and going
because of the crows and don't you 
draw from them those omens

eventually and inevitably working
their way beneath the seams
of your teeth.  Don't you, from the farthest
of your owned acres (and into the neighbors
fallow fields) take them

into your home to keep them
through the bitterest 
of months when you burn through
your winter
cordwood early and live 
in only two rooms 
of your fourteen room house?

Don't you see them 
when the mail's slow and that wood's
getting dangerous
low and the open window
is the only going
or coming they or you will come to
know.  Don't they,

lifted from the field by some sound
that will never reach you
and scattered against the snowing
nimbo-clouds like birdshot, draw up
the dry brown grass with their corvus
claws to finally reveal
what's been

buried there?  And don't you want to
go over to its edge then and look
into whatever it is that's been 
drawn back?  If only you could make it
before the world closed
over it like a water-healing
and you halfway there and losing
your bearings when the weather
turns and even
momentarily when
the house is gone and you don't know

how to get home.  And it's only
when the black bolt is thrown
(or, because you've long known
there's ghosts) throws itself
into the flurry that you are bearing
it for the sake of bearing it
correctly and you're all of you all 
twa.  

And you're all throat.  All wing and what's
beneath. And banking to 
all winds and all of what
it, after all these years,
with the compass in your rib, bids you: banking
into the wind
to let it lift in you what it can 
lift in you, the reason why it
has been waiting for you
all this time.  





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