Saturday, September 26, 2020

How To Pray in the Damned River

 




How to Pray in the Dammed River

 

The space we stood around had been emptied

Into us to keep, it penetrated

Clearances that suddenly stood open.

High cries were felled and a pure change happened.

                                                                                Seamus Heaney

                                                                                Clearances

 

 

The opening in the stones is only

visible at low water and then

the lowest still is unapproachable.

It’s closest to a door beneath

 

the river and because I don’t

know the way of rivers going,

I can thoroughly sit and watch

the stationed run-off caught

 

all summer in the century-ago

placed stones: going leafless

trees, two or three fishing

bobbers broke free their rod,

 

bobbles for a cast-off Christmas

song.  An oracle, that door.

Maybe, if I’d come walking

down river with the same boots

 

as I’d wear out into low tide

I’d reach, pull the tops up to

my crotch and walk past all

the crockery, river glass, all

 

that’s been cast off (or pocketed-

because in time I might

find enough of this one pattern

to resemble and reassemble

 

a memory) and walk, v-ing

the little patches of Jesus

bugs skimming the water, slip

on the slime all waters contrive

 

to make, toward that door

in the dam.  It’s open, I only

just noticed.  It’s always,

even when the river’s full

 

of itself and insisting its winter

spoils, even when its behind

the tossed over the face hair

of the goddess’s gate-keeper,

 

--have your question ready

                and written

                on a slip

                of your best

 

                paper – and then

                make your way with it

                in your fingers – and –

                                arriving

 

                bow and breathe

in and swallow

                the breath of the old

                river inside its vestibule

 

                find the right seam between

                two boulders and heave

                but delicately,

                like a ballerina, and only

 

                the arc (the peace between)

                of the arms – the pinch

                of fingers, the rooted feet

                in the deepest grasses, wet

 

                weeds

reach, balanced, or un

balanced if you need more

forgiving – and wait to be

 

                                wait to be.

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